using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
