WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
