Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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