Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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