We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
