we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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