And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
