i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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