I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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