I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
