Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
