yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
