i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
