WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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