guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
