So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize