4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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