maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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