I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
