It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
