that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
