I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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