After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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