Just mADE A PArabola og urine
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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