i permit you to call me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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