It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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