don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
