so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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