Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
