I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
