In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
