I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
