i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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