Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
