You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
