Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
