pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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