Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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