im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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