You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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