we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
