first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's never too late to be topless.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
