I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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