I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
