Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
