Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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