i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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