I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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