ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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