...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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